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  • Jen Miller

Element of Surprise, A Slimy One

Updated: May 18, 2022

Beep, beep, beep. The dreaded sound of our alarm clock going off at 5:30 AM. It's more obnoxious than what I wrote, but I'm sure you get the gist of it.

In our house, it is our goal to enjoy a hot breakfast, read the news, and enjoy each other's company before our children arise from their slumber. As my hubby and I stumble out of our bed, we move like sloths as we go down the stairs in search of these 30 minutes of peace and the ability to eat mindfully. Unfortunately, that's not what typically happens, and neither of us wants to get up any earlier than we need to.

Most mornings, we know what to expect.


Someone will wake up too early and interrupt my "ME/US" time OR

A fight will ensue before 6 AM (Of course, it starts with two or three boys "playing" (a.k.a. roughhousing), then someone gets hurt...THE END) OR

While I'm trying to prep my breakfast, one of the above mentions happens while my food is cooking OR

I'm in the middle of eating my breakfast, haven't finished my breakfast, when one or two or all three of my boys hug me so tight, I feel like I'm going to hurl OR

I'm trying to enjoy my breakfast while reading the news, and someone is talking to me before I can understand a complete sentence, or they are hovering around me like a vulture OR

Someone needs to use the bathroom because someone else is in the one upstairs, and everyone seems to have to use the bathroom simultaneously even though I could hear that they've been up since 5:30 AM.

Now mind you, these are just some of the things that happen daily in our house, typically between 5:45 AM - 6:15 AM. I'm sure you can relate. My boys know that at 6 AM, they are welcome to come downstairs after making their beds, using the restroom, and dressed for school. Most days, this happens, and then sometimes, it doesn't. Typically, that's when things go wackadoo. I've learned to be flexible about it. I've never taken any of my kids to school wearing pajamas unless it was pajama day. Those were my favorite days.

This morning started as a typical morning. Two of my boys were up and had to use the restroom simultaneously. Naturally, one came downstairs to use the half-bath. I reminded him to turn on the lights and close the door (once again). I don't know why my boys prefer to use the toilet with the door open in the dark. I've told them repeatedly that they are not part cat and cannot see in the dark well. The evidence is always left on the toilet, the floor, and the bottom of the toilet base. When I point that out, I hear "It wasn't me" or "I don't know who did that." Seriously!

Meanwhile, we could hear that our third son was up. He and his brother were "playing." As a proactive move, I sweetly sang to my boys that "Jesus said it was going to be a GREAT day." I scurried back to my warm plate of eggs to finish shoveling them into my mouth like I was in an eating competition and chugging my coffee for the boost of energy I needed before any more interruptions occurred.